Geology Field Camp Purity Test

This (highly unscientific) test, once taken, will indicate how corrupted you were by field camp. For best results, one should take this test before going to the camp, and again afterwards, to see how corrupted one has become to the ways of the field.

Instructions: only click in Yes column if the question applies to you. Technicalities count. There is no time limit. (Save you actually starting work on that final project… :)

Question, questions, questions…

All creatures small and beautiful…

No/Yes

Have you ever been chased by a bull?
…a sheep?
…a beer?
…a rattlesnake?
…a Moose?
…a Wild Chick’on (AKA Jack Rabbit)?
Seen a tick?
Has a tick seen you?
Do you hate ticks with a passion?
Do you hate mosquitoes with a passion?
Do you know what Velcro gloves are for?
Ever seen a rabbit hole?
… stepped into one?
Ever mapped in a bull pen?
… while wearing bull pheromones?
Wondered why the crickets sound suspiciously like rattlesnakes?
Do you believe in ROUS (Rattlesnakes Of Unusual Size)?
Ever picked up a rattlesnake?
Ever yelled at the cattle?
Ever chased the cattle?

Stuff

No/Yes

Is your new best friend named Brunton?
Do you know what a strike and dip is?
Do you consider getting that final strike and dip more important than risking a rattlesnake bite?
Do you have more than one hammer?
Have you named them?
Does “Jacob Staff” have more meaning than something you might have heard back in Sunday School?
Have you ever broken a Jacob Staff?
Have you ever driven a Geology Van (TM)?
… at 75 mph?
… off road?
… on a muddy, slick road during a thundershower?
Do you have a duct-tape and plexiglass map case?
… that is now quite trashed?
Have you thrown away clothes after taking them to field camp?
Did you have to buy a new pair of boots on returning from camp?
Ever considered a squirt gun a vital piece of field equipment?
Do you collect Sharpies?
Ever seen a GPS unit?
… used one?
… and wanted to keep it?

Vaguely Geology related

No/Yes

Do you know what a chip sample is? (nothing to do with cows)
Do you have a box full of chip samples taken from camp?
Can you casually use “Amphibolite facies smashed pebble calc-silicate banded iron conglomerate” in a conversation?
Have you ever mistaken Quartzite for Marble?
… more than once?
Ever hidden or ran away from the professor in the field?
… more than once?
… every day?
Ever wanted to hit the professor for not answering your questions?
… more than once?
… every day?
Do you get queasy on mention of “The Rat’s Nest” (or similar evil mapping area?)
Ever taken a nap in the field?
… more than once?
… every day?
Ever been caught in a thunderstorm in the field?
… more than once?
… and thrust your hammer to the heavens daring Mother Nature?
Ever peed behind a bush?
Ever taken a sh*t behind a bush?

Beer, beer, and more beer

No/Yes

Did the amount of alcohol you consumed increase during field camp?
… Dramatically?
Do you know all the barristers at the local watering hole?
… by name?
Have you ever danced with a cowboy/girl at the local watering hole?
… more than one at a time?
Had to be carried home from the watering hole?
… more than once?
Fallen unconscious at the watering hole?
… more than once?
Thrown in jail for actions at the watering hole?
Do you know the words to every country song played on the local radio?
Have you ever won a dozen donuts on a local radio station?
Thrown up due to excessive alcohol?
… more than once?
… every night?
… in a Geology Van (TM)?
Have you grown loose lips in the watering hole?
Have you formed a new relationship while at field camp?
Been sore for unknown reasons the next morning?

Everything else

No/Yes

Has it ever snowed on you in July? (Invert the month if you were south of the equator.)
Do you consider Easy Cheese as one of the 4 food groups?
… spam?
… beer?
… beef stick?
Ever been forced to listen to your professor sing old Patsy Cline love songs in the shower (or something similar…)?
Ever played a prank on the other visiting geology camps?
… more than once?
… in less than a one day period?
Ever seen the professor wearing short shorts?
… and wanted to retch?
Ever taken booze into the field?
… more than once?
… every day?
Ever been dumped into a drainage ditch?
… more than once?
Ever missed going out into the field?
… more than once?
Ever stayed up into the wee hours working on a final report?
… drunk?