#!/usr/bin/perl                                
$_=++$_+$_;($:,$,,$*,$~,$.,$/)=($!=$_)=~/.(..)(.).(..)....(.)......(.).+?(.)$/;
$@="$~$*$:";$_+=$_*=$_;($*,$:,$;)=($!=$_)=~/.(.)[^$.]+.(.)(.)/;
$_/=$_;$|=$_++;`$@"$:$~$.$.$/ $*$:$;$," $|>&$_`;

__END__
# obligatory sanity section (:
$_=++$_+$_; # set $_ to 2;

# note that pulling out of $! is system dependant, so this script will
# probably only work right on Linux-based machines, as that's where it
# was developed...

# need to grab a few more chars out of here! r, s, y
($:,$,,$*,$~,$/,$.) = ($! = $_) =~ /.(..)(.).(..)....(.)......(.).....(.)/;
#                                      N(o )(s)u(ch) fil(e) or di(r)ector(y)
# probably don't need to match the f, that's for the rm -rf precursor...

$@="$~$*$:"; # sets $@ to 'echo', frees up those vars for re(ab)use

$_*=$_+$_; # set $_ to 8

($*,$:,$;) = ($!=$_) =~ /.(.)......(.)(.)/;
#                        E(x)ec for(m)(a)t error

# some fiddling so our shell output appears
$_ /= $_; # set $_ to 1 (anything divided by itself...)
$| = $_++; # set $| to 2, so we can redirect 2 -> 1

# dear god, what have I created?!
print "$@ $:$~$/$/$. $*$:$;$, $|>&$_", "\n";
`$@ "$:$~$/$/$. $*$:$;$," $|>&$_`;